The act becomes the art of growing up

Moving day... I have been dreading this day for the last month. It feels so unreal. I just want to walk down the stairs and see my parents and sisters walk out the door at sit at Kelsos house. Its weird. I went to Kelsos right before we left to say my goodbyes for now. I'm going to miss her so much it is not even funny. I need her "like water in my lungs". Why couldn't this be easier? Unpacking took what seemed like forever. Boxes everywhere. The positive side is that I had to up and down the stairs constantly so I probably lost one of the two pieces of ice cream cake I had last night. Another plus side is that my roommates are really nice. although, a small downside was that I accidentally crazy glued my fingers together. Word of advise, don't do that. After my parents left though it hit me. There not coming back to see me everyday and they aren't going to be here when I get home from school. I think this was the hardest I cried in my whole life. I don't think I really got out of bed. I'm sinking like a stone in the sea. I miss everybody but it is the first step in growing up; growing apart.

And I blame myself because I make things hard

So, I would basically like to say that today was officially one of the worst days of my life so far. I am not one to usually see the negative side but today wasn't one of my better days. It is the day before I move and I left everything to the last minute. This morning I woke up early to go see my Nonna and eat breakfast. That wasn't bad at all but I am feeling the need to add everything in, good and bad. I then went to the mall to finish my last minute shopping and buy a backpack. As I got into my car I thought to myself that I am really glad I won't be driving anymore because I am scared of getting into a car accident. So I go to work thinking that it's my last day so I was going to slack off. That was until I found out I had to be main cashier. I ended up getting taken off but it was so busy that I had to cut my lunch break short. So much for me sitting around. I did however enjoy a lovely dinner with my parents. My last home cooked meal for a while. Remember how I was putting off packing? Well, I finished...today. Uh, I was supposed to make time to see all my friends but by the time everything was done it was already 10:30 at night. At least I gotta hang out with Kaitlyn, Logan and Rosina at Ro's house. Logan made me my present it was a robotic but demon looking mickey mouse. Super radical. I'll post a picture later. The end off the night was the cherry on top of the cake though. As it was time to leave I was pulling out of the driveway, complimenting the brand new song playing in the car, when I heard a big BANG. STUPID, MINDLESS, AIRHEAD. I had just hit the car behind me. Go figure. My first instinct was to drive away and pretend like nothing happened. Unfortunately, I would feel to bad and the damage was really bad. Huge dent by the front tire. I rammed the ram as Kaitlyn and I would put it. After an immeasurable amount of crying I called my mom and she helped me through it. She is still pretty upset with me for being a dummy but it is my fault for not looking behind me. What a perfect ending to a new beginning.

We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get.

I am starting to dread waking up. Every time I wake up means another day has gone by. Another day closer to waking up away from home. I wish I could just slow time down and just take everything in. Those empty boxes in my room are becoming more full with clothes and food. My floor seems to be disappearing on me. The only thing I had looking forward to was the fact that my going away "party" was tonight. I waited for the time to pass so that I could just be with my friends. The first guest to arrive was Patty, she brought me ice cream cake. She knows me too well. We sat in my cluttered room while I read the note she made for me which mentioned a lot of things we've been through. Thank God for waterproof eyeliner. As we walk downstairs my mom comes in with big bags a food. What am I going to do without her. I love her so much. Rosina then came holding up a radical picture frame with some pictures of us over the summer. I laughed at mine and Rosina's mud masked face. I picked up the rest of the crew; Athena, Ryan and Kaitlyn. We sat around in my basement and basically hung out. Just like old times. Kaitlyn got me a super awesome lamp with all the colours of a rainbow and a book on vampire rehab. Athena got me a lamp (that was green by the way) and a clock that was water powered. I think that was probably the weirdest but most interesting thing I had ever been given but I love it. Anyways we played Nintendo Wii and ate junk food all night. Logan even stopped by for a bit and gave me a swan made out of ticket stubs. I actually like it a lot. You can say its "made from the heart". After everyone left I cleaned the basement one plate and gift at a time with tears rolling down my face. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of everyone. I'm going to miss every single person. My parents, my friends, my siblings, my pets. These are the people who made me who I am and the people who have been there for me through thick and thin.

This is a lesson in procrastination.

I'm looking at my room wondering if these empty boxes will pack themselves. Four days until I move and packing is really the last thing I'm worried about. I'm more concerned about how I'm moving without any money. I'm worried about my friends. Worried about being alone. That is probably one of my greatest fears; being alone. I even shudder just thinking about it. What if I become lonely? It seems that college is full of what ifs. What if I fail? What if I don't find any friends? I'm at a stepping stone in my life that seems like a big leap.